Turns out, according to a recent article on The Huffington Post our lesbian sisters are experiencing orgasmic bliss way more than us straight ones (75% vs. 62%)
Orgasms are never about technique. Or gender. Or anatomy.
They’re about energy.
More specifically about the energy of trust, love and surrender.
Of fully letting go.
Of walking off the edge.
Of showing up naked. In all senses of the word.
Of baring your heart open to your partner. Of communing and communicating.
But before that they are about connecting with our own sexual energy. Understanding what we’re made of, how the lights go on and what it takes to truly shudder in orgasmic bliss from the inside out.
This involves getting familiar with our genitalia: exploring, noting the changes during different phases of our moon cycle and embracing and celebrating our very unique sexual landscape.
Then sharing this understanding with the beloved.
If you’re not fully willing to open up to your partner – emotionally, spiritually, intellectually – then opening up sexually won’t be possible either.
If you’re in bed with your lover but your mind’s thinking about the emails you need to send, an orgasm (or five) might elude you.
If you approach your sex life as you do your job: deadlines, structures, defined roles and goals, then you’ll never know what it feels like to dissolve into the other.
If you don’t feel completely safe, loved and accepted by your lover, you will not allow yourself to explode with earth-shattering orgasmic bliss.
If can’t reveal who you are in that spontaneous moment to your lover – the wild or the soft or the priestess-like or the impish (because, you know, we are incredibly multi-faceted like that) then you will not feel safe enough to enjoy sex, leave alone orgasm.
Orgasms are about sharing, revealing, opening up your heart and mind to your lover. It’s the precursor. If it doesn’t happen, then your body will not open either.
Straight, bisexual or lesbian, can you say you have a true communion – of the body, mind heart and spirit – with your partner?
Orgasms have been made complex, unfathomable, elusive things. They’ve been reduced to a science. And love, sex and orgasms were never meant to be scrutinised, examined, bottled and boxed with appropriate labels and how-to instructions.
The secret is play. To be childlike: innocent, curious, sensual. And to allow what comes.
And you will come. Over and over again… you will come.
Talking about coming, I hope you’ll come to my free workshop The Yogasmic Woman on 9/11 where I will cover the ancient teachings of Yoga, Tantra and Taoism to demystify and explore feminine sexuality.
Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex.
– Havelock Ellis
In the comments, please share what, in your opinion, is keeping straight women from experiencing orgasms? What are your secrets? 😉