Yes it can be done. I encourage you to try often.
“I’m just not a good decision maker!”, exclaimed my client.
I paused and let the words sink in. This woman is the CEO of a multi million dollar company, working on her passion project on the side – she makes good decisions ALL the time.
And yet the ONE time she felt stuck or unclear, she sealed it with a sweeping, self-destructive judgement:
“I’m just not a good decision maker!”
Convince me, I said. Give me five instances today where you were faced with decisions and made them.
“Well, I chose between cereal and omelet for breakfast
I decided that my mother in law needed to be taken to the hospital for a check up.
I decided that we would expand on a client project and I decided the budget cuts for it.”
She went on listing a host of excellent decisions she’d just made in that one day.
I remember once in college, I was trying to convince a friend that I was fat. “Are you kidding me?” she said, “you’re not remotely fat”. Yes I am, I said, pulling my shirt up and grabbing belly fat between my fingers. “Look.”
When we’re convinced of our limitations, we will go far and wide to find confirmation for it.
This happens to the best of us, no matter how much we’ve accomplished and how far we’ve come on our inner journey. Some negative belief systems take time to dissolve.
If you find yourself in this situation, I encourage you to find five instances to the contrary and right them down.
This creates new neural pathways in the brain, loosening the grip of older beliefs and creating room for a new, real and more accurate assessment of your strengths and weaknesses.
The mind makes an excellent servant but a terrible master. Let’s not mix up those roles.
Are you holding on to any beliefs that you would like to re-visit? Share in the comments below…